


A Sad Life Indeed

by Mickey_99



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide, major trigger warning, no happy ending, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25157173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey_99/pseuds/Mickey_99
Summary: Bokuto can see when someone will die.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 24
Kudos: 157





	A Sad Life Indeed

Bokuto wasn’t normal. Bokuto didn’t tell people this but he could see people’s death dates printed across their forehead. For that reason, Bokuto resolved to always be a kind person in everyone’s life, but he also resolved himself to never getting attached. Bokuto wasn’t good at not getting attached. Bokuto loved with his whole heart. The first time Bokuto realized what his gift was, was when his mother died. His whole life he had seen the numbers 9/20/1999 on her forehead. For years he didn’t know what it meant, then on his fifth birthday he walked in on his mother dead, a bottle of pills still lay in her cold lifeless hand. He had stared in shock as the numbers on her forehead glittered red, the color of blood, before evaporating into the air. Bokuto had fallen to his knees shaking, suddenly every date he had seen in his lifetime made so much sense. Suddenly all at once Bokuto wanted to carve his own eyes out of his head. Suddenly Bokuto thought of all the people he had met and seen with numbers for _the very next day._

The tipping point was when Bokuto remembered a little girl he had played with on the playground near his house, before never seeing her again. He remembered how the numbers had been for that very day. He remembered asking her if the day was special. He remembered her saying that her father was coming home after a very long time away. Bokuto remembered seeing her leave. And now Bokuto wonders if she ever got to see her father again. It was then that Bokuto began to wail. He cried cries of complete and utter agony. His entire being was engulfed by fear and loneliness. His cries were for everyone who he had met that had already died. His cries were for the little girl. His cries were for his mother. And his cries were for himself. He collapsed onto the ground in a catatonic state only to be found later by his neighbor who had heard his screaming. He was unresponsive, and doctors chalked it up to him being the one to find his mother’s lifeless body. The doctors only knew half of it. Bokuto couldn’t handle looking people in the eye anymore. Their death dates would float in front of his eyes like a mocking dance.

Bokuto was placed in a foster home. His father had been dead since before he was born, and Bokuto had no living relatives to speak of. Bokuto kept his eyes trained on the floor. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to see. People made fun of him for being anti-social. But Bokuto didn’t care. Bokuto didn’t want to look into someone’s eyes only to see the day of their death imprinted on their forehead.

Then Bokuto met Akaashi. Akaashi got him to look up. Just Akaashi’s voice alone was enough to force Bokuto to snap his head up. Suddenly everyone’s dates where shown to him. But Akaashi was special. Akaashi wouldn’t die until Bokuto was 94. Bokuto might be dead by then. Bokuto wouldn’t have to watch Akaashi die. It was then that Bokuto realized he might be okay with looking people in the eyes. Afterall he would die eventually too. One day he wouldn’t have to watch his friends die. One day they would outlast him. Akaashi’s numbers were 9/20/2088.

Suddenly life got a whole lot easier. Though Bokuto tried to only stick with the people he was sure would out last him.

Then Bokuto met Kuroo. Kuroo’s numbers were 12/31/2014.

Kuroo would just miss seeing 2015. By a day. Bokuto tried not to get attached, but Kuroo became his best friend. Kuroo became his friend that made Bokuto admit to liking Akaashi. Kuroo became his friend that pushed Akaashi and himself into a happy relationship. Kuroo became his best friend who said he wanted to be Bokuto’s best man and Bokuto and Akaashi’s wedding.

Bokuto had cried that night on Kuroo’s shoulder. Sobbing for a death that hadn’t even come to pass yet. Bokuto cried.

When Bokuto met Hinata. Bokuto’s heart plummeted. Hinata would die the very year he met him. 2012. Kageyama. His numbers were for the same exact day. 11/13/2012.

Kageyama and Hinata were so happy with each other. The way they clicked was amazing. Bokuto was known to be pretty oblivious, but he didn’t miss the way Kageyama and Hinata snuck away together. He didn’t miss the quick brush of the hands or the shy looks. Bokuto wishes he had. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt as much.

“Hinata-kun’s family died in a car accident,” Akaashi tells Bokuto. And Bokuto has to hold back tears because two days from now Hinata and Kageyama were due to die. Both of which had a very special place inside Bokuto’s heart. Bokuto had tried not to remember it. But now the fact was staring him in the face.

“How did you find out?” Bokuto asks taking hold of Akaashi’s hand. He needed Akaashi to ground him right now. And even though Akaashi had no clue why, he did so.

“Daichi-san told me,” Akaashi responds,” He was hoping you could talk to Hinata-kun since he respects you so much. I guess he quit volleyball and hasn’t left his house.”

Suddenly a flash of hope struck through Bokuto. Maybe he could change the outcome of the events. Maybe if he was there for Hinata, he could help.

“I will call him later tonight,” Bokuto says.

Bokuto calls him. And calls him. And calls him. But Hinata doesn’t get back to him. So, on the day that Hinata is scheduled to die, Bokuto panics and skips school to go to Miagi.

Bokuto get’s to the door and Kageyama is standing there and banging on the door in tears.

“Hinata. Boke.” Kageyama screams,” Open the door. Let me help. Please. I miss you.”

Kageyama is obviously worried, but doesn’t want to break open the door and barge in. Bokuto has no such reservations. He gathers his strength and kicks the door as hard as he can sending it flying open. Kageyama and him stare in shock.

Hinata’s arms were covered in blood. A pill bottle lay next to him empty. And his head was blown open by a gunshot to the head. The gun lay on the floor next to him. There was no numbers. There was nowhere the numbers could have been.

Bokuto stumbles to the toilet and pukes. His hands shaking as the mental image of ginger hair became a much more crimson red. That’s when Bokuto hears the clicking of a gun being reset. Bokuto turns just in time to watch the numbers disappear from Kageyama’s forehead a second before the setter pulls the trigger. Bokuto watches in shock as the young couple is joined together in a sick vision of death. Blood covered Bokuto’s face. He had been standing close enough to have it spatter all over him.

Again, the cops found Bokuto in a near catatonic state. They had to call Akaashi to come pick Bokuto up.

“I was there,” Bokuto says crying into Akaashi’s shirt,” I was there, and I couldn’t save them.”

Akaashi hadn’t said anything. Akaashi had only stood holding Bokuto as he cried. Everything seemed hopeless. Everything.

Kuroo’s death was predicted correctly. Towards the end of Kuroo’s third year he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.

“It won’t kill me,” Kuroo had said smiling. But Bokuto could only stare as Kenma held Kuroo’s hand crying. Kenma’s date was the day after Kuroo. 1/1/2015.

Kenma and Kuroo get married before Kuroo dies. Both of them having had it on their bucket list to marry the other.

Kuroo died in his sleep 1 minute before midnight. And one minute after, Kenma jumped from the roof of the hospital building. Bokuto refused to go to the funerals. Not wanting to see the lack of those stupid numbers on their heads. Not wanting to see the lack of a body in Kenma’s case. Instead Bokuto stayed with Akaashi and cried into the younger man’s shirt. He sobbed for his lost friend. And Bokuto wished for the day that his friends would finally out last him.

Then one day when Bokuto was 67, as Bokuto walked outside he noticed that all the numbers on people’s foreheads were matching. They were all for this very day. Bokuto had almost screamed. Bokuto had run back to his and Akaashi’s house and grabbed Akaashi. Bokuto had pulled a protesting Akaashi to an underground subway.

“Koutarou wait!” Akaashi yells looking scared,” What is wrong?”

The subway was empty, there was no one else there.

“Everyone is going to die Akaashi,” Bokuto says crying,” They are all going to die, and I can’t lose you too.”

Bokuto cries and Akaashi looks fearful.

“Koutarou,” Akaashi says,” Let’s get you to a doctor- “

“NO!” Bokuto screams latching onto Akaashi,” You can’t leave me I won’t let you.”

Bokuto cries. He cries. He cries.

“Bokuto nobody- “

Loud sounds emit from above the subway system. Bangs and the screams of people echo through the room. Bokuto sobs as Akaashi falls to the ground stunned.

“You could have saved them,” Akaashi says. “If you knew- “

“No!” Bokuto says crying,” There is no way to save them once their date comes.”

Akaashi tries to get Bokuto to explain, but Bokuto refuses. Bokuto refuses. He refuses. He refuses.

Bokuto can’t handle this anymore, he can’t.

The two of them eventually go back to the surface and decide to live the best they can in the deserted world with the little time they had left.

Akaashi died before Bokuto. Gasping breaths from being sick. And Bokuto just couldn’t take it anymore. Bokuto tried to kill himself. He _tried_.

Over.

And over.

And over.

But Bokuto just wouldn’t die. There were no numbers on his head. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t see his friends again. He would never see any of them again. And Bokuto fell to his knees shaking and wailing in pain.

Meanwhile, outside the white padded room, doctors looked in upon the white-haired male shaking and convulsing on the ground.

“All the people he ever loved died,” A man said. “Some of them he even watched die. It’s no wonder he is stuck in a delusion.”

“A delusion that he is the last living person on earth,” Another man says,” And he thinks, because we keep saving him from dying, that he is immortal.”

“Imagine living in a world where you can’t join those you once loved and lost, and a world where you can never love again,” A woman says.” Medicine isn’t helping him. He is so young too. Only 25 years old.”

One doctor just stared at the shaking man, who had tears running down his face. It was a sad and lonely life indeed.

A/N

Join the discord!!!

<https://discord.gg/EgB4FQK>


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